ABOUT SEXUAL ADDICTION OR COMPULSION?
DR. ZOLDBROD IS A RECOGNIZED EXPERT IN THE FIELD
An estimated 14 million
Americans-- 1 in 17 people, have a form of sexual addiction or compulsion.
If you live in Boston and you're concerned about--or finally recognizing
-your sexual addiction or compulsions, you want expert
help. You'd like to see a top professional in Boston.
Dr. Aline Zoldbrod's
work in the field of sexual addiction has been nationally
recognized for years. In 1998, she published her award-winning
book Sex Smart, which described
in detail one of the most common developmental pathways to sexual
addiction. SexSmart is used
in the understanding and treatment of sexual addiction in academia,
community centers, private and group practices, and in self-help
groups for sexual addiction in the United States and abroad.
Are you a sex addict?
Take this quick quiz
on Sexual Addiction in the Media
Zoldbrod has been cited on sexual addiction
by major national newspapers, in magazines, on radio stations, on
TV, and in professional and popular books since
1998. Her comments on the increase in pornography addiction
are even entered into the Federal Record (U.S. Senate , November
Recognized for Her Contribution to the
Understanding and Treatment of Sexual Addiction
Dr. Zoldbrod's contribution
to the understanding and treatment of sexual addiction is recognized
by men and women trying to heal from sexually compulsive behavior.
She is cited on many, many sites and blogs, including:
(Sex and Love Addicts)
on Sexual Addiction at Professional Conferences
Dr. Aline Zoldbrod has
been lecturing to professional groups such as AASECT (The American
Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) and SASH
(Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health) on the developmental
factors which often lead to sexual addiction since the late 1990's.
You can order a CD of her presentation at the 2008
SASH National Conference on Sexual Addiction entitled "Sexual
Development 101: Using the Milestones of Sexual Development Model
to Understand and Treat the Underlying Issues of Sexual Addiction"
from Lawrence Media Group (www.lawrencemediagroup.com, 800-466-1962,
SASH 2008, September 20, session 7-3)
Zoldbrod's Contribution to the Field of Sexual Addiction Has Been
Recognized by Fellow Professionals:
"A valuable resource
for anyone who wants to understand and explore the root cause of
adult sexual intimacy concerns."
Maltz M.S.W. Author, The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming
Problems Caused by Pornography
is the book that I hand to my patients who tell me that they do
not recall being sexually abused but who nevertheless feel that
"something is wrong with me." The Milestones in Sexual Development
model is particularly helpful for patients dealing with sex addiction
and co-addiction, because the sexual behaviors that get acted out
almost always can be correlated with a failure to successfully negotiate
specific milestones. It is an empowering book that encourages people
to be in the solution, not in the problem. This is one of the books
that I wish that I had written."
Manley APRN BC, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Diplomate,
and Certified Supervisor; Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
To read more endorsements
about SexSmart, click here.
ANYONE CAN BECOME
"ADDICTED" TO SEX
Dr. Zoldbrod's patients
come from all walks of life. They are physicians, lawyers, plumbers,
business owners, executives, computer programmers, engineers, teachers,
psychotherapists, nurses, police, entrepreneurs, salesmen, military,
and more-- men and women, gay, bi and straight, single or coupled.
TO SEXUAL ADDICTION
There are many different
pathways to becoming addicted to sex. In every case, it was an accident.
Sexual addiction is not something you choose. That's interesting,
too, since it begins as something you did choose, does provide pleasure,
but becomes impossible to control.
And sexual addiction
can take many, many forms, including but not limited to obsession
with internet porn, pursuing high priced call girls, constant masturbation,
prostitutes, cruising Craig's list for anonymous sex, or constant
frequenting of strip clubs and massage parlors.
You probably began to
use sex to deal with some feelings you didn't like. Whether the
feelings are frustration, boredom, feeling out of control, anger
or disappointment or frustration with your partner, anxiety, sadness,
loneliness or something else, sexual addiction is a "solution" that
turns into a problem, and your life spins out of control.
Are you a sex addict?
Take this quick quiz
Powerful and/or Type
One group of people
having trouble with sexual additions are men and women who have
a huge amount of control over their life in other spheres. They
pride themselves on their success and their sense of control. If
you're in this group, maybe you first began masturbating to porn
as a teenager, which is completely normal, but later you probably
began to use sex compulsively to get what you wanted somewhere
when you were becoming frustrated with feeling
not-so-in-control in your job or your relationship. You've
been so successful and powerful in every other realm, but this is
a behavior you can't stop, and you're concerned.
If this describes your
pathway to sexual addiction and compulsion, you need a very smart,
seasoned and accomplished sexual addiction therapist, because
you need to talk to someone who is intelligent enough to figure
out your particular puzzle and your specific treatment plan, someone
who you can respect and who you can't push around!
People with Social
Anxiety and Lack of Sexual Confidence or Experience
Another common pattern
occurs most often among men who as teenagers did not feel successful
with girls. Trying to get dates, or experiencing fear and anxiety
on dates is such a difficult experience that you retreated into
the impersonal world of sexual addiction--often computer porn or
anonymous or paid sex.
People With a Recognized
or Unrecognized History of Familial Neglect, Violence, or Abuse
Though the cause of sexual
addiction can differ from person to person, many sexual addicts
come from families where their emotional needs were not met. There
may have been emotional and physical neglect, violence, sexual abuse,
or alcohol or drug addiction. Statistics have shown that this is
the case for more than 80% of the people who get caught up in sexual
For whatever reason,
your parents may have failed to provide you with good experiences
in the Milestones of Sexual
You didn't have kind
and consistent touch or emotional support when you were young. You
learned not to trust and not to become vulnerable and attached to
Now, as an adult, deep
down you don't feel loved. You don't trust others.
is an excellent companion to the leading
books on understanding sexual addiction.
will help you map your past so that you understand what happened
to you in detail:
Why did you begin to
use sex to calm and soothe yourself?
Why did it happen so
early in life?
Why is emotional intimacy
Dealing with your addiction
is like going on a journey. An important part of healing is going
back into the past and looking--frame-by-frame, as if you are watching
a movie--at what happened to you when you were younger.
You need to look with
new eyes, eyes that understand the concept of sexual addiction.
Using the exercises at the end of each chapter, you will be able
to allow yourself to feel the feelings that were too dangerous to
will give you a detailed roadmap of how your unexplored feelings
about your past created your pattern of sexual addiction, and SexSmart's
exercises and journaling will give you a recipe for how to overcome
You will read the stories
of other sex addicts, men and women like you who have already taken
the journey to sexual recovery using the wisdom contained in SexSmart.
FOR SEXUAL ADDICTION WITH DR. ZOLDBROD
your sexual compulsion, your treatment with Dr. Zoldbrod will be
tailored to your individual pathway to sexual addiction, your individual
needs, and your specific situation.
Getting over compulsive
sexual behavior is an intensive process, and an approach that blends
heart and mind. The goal of treatment is to stop compulsive
sexual behavior but to discover, define, learn (or re-learn) how
to enjoy sexuality which feels healthy.
For each of you, your
journey will be different.
therapy for sexual addiction with Dr. Zoldbrod involves:
techniques for assessing resources --An individualized assessment
and ongoing support.
Depending on the results
of the individual needs assessment, treatment usually will include:
- Identification of
specific developmental and current vulnerabilities
- Assessment of any
co-occurring problems and addictions
- An evaluation of where
you are in the "stages of change"
- Assessment of sexual
development and pre-addictive sexual functioning (Using Dr. Zoldbrod's
- A powerful imagistic
technique to assess deficits in self esteem
- Learn how to identify,
tolerate, and healthfully process difficult feelings
- A specific technique
to identify and strengthen the healthy internal resources you
need to cope with your cravings
- Being taught how to
identify internal triggers such as boredom or depression which
trigger compulsive behavior
- Identifying lifestyle
changes needed in order to cut down on unnecessary exposure to
problematic sexual temptations and individual cravings
- A sophisticated model
which explains the way you brain needs to change in order to overcome
your sexual addiction
- Encouragement to join
a support group
- A process to create
accountability for your actions
- Suggested readings
Couple therapy is
available as well
Contact Dr. Zoldbrod
to Make An Appointment
to read Dr. Zoldbrod's hisandherhealth.com article about sexual
© Aline Zoldbrod 2010